POKER Face

Staring unto the screen of my phone I noticed her icon had popped severally on my BBM recent update, I looked on in utter disbelief having called her severally just moments ago and she didn't pick I was disturbed and I began wondering did I do something wrong, has she lost interest in me, what seems to be the problem, I
continued to ponder and deciding there where three logical ways to tackle my situation, but sadly  rather coming in solutions they came in questions. With an unperturbed expression on my face I thought.
        "Should I ping her"  I wondered, that might make me seem desperate and that would mean that her recent update caught my attention. There's a possibility she wasn't with her phone, yes, she uses two phones, if memory serves correctly, how well we soliloquy when faced with dilemma of the female variety. No, I wouldn't do that, crossing my legs, I reclined against my chair.
         "should I redial her number"  that's just plain desperate, you've already called her twice, a third time would make you look very desperate, you've got a principle don't forget, one  missed call on the regular, two if it's really important and three is only reserved for immediate family. I decided against that also as I've always been described in many terms depending on the girl you asked cold, distant and indifferent, titles which I often welcomed with a smile but never desperate not since my  girlfriend from when I was eighteen and this was one title I promised never to reclaim, with all the self control I could muster I resigned myself, I won't call. No I won't.
         "Should I ignore her actions all together" pretend everything never happened with arms outstretched ready to give a warm welcome embrace should fate turn her towards my direction. This seemed the best option, I go on the defensive and at the same time my sense of self worth isn't diminished but what if she wanted me to try harder and put in more effort, proving how worthy I was of her. This time I feigned boredom and yawned, no matter how unsettled I was I always maintained the perfect poker face and it was always difficult to tell my current state of mind.
               God, why me? I've always been an embodiment of impersonal, calculative and logical with the right variables I always came to near perfection in my assumptions, my head always came before my heart, logic before emotions because in my mind I always saw emotion as a flame and as such when lit it's hard to control, the stronger the emotion the larger the fire and the more likely it was to rage out of control , hence  emotional people even in the face of reason always made bumbling and silly decisions and I was no better at the moment . My inner battle raged on and what was five minutes seemed like an eternity and same as any land suffering from an elongated civil war the exhaustion was becoming evident and I was mentally drained, all this thinking ought to be channelled towards something more productive but here I was thinking, philosophizing and at this point I would have rivaled Plato if the challenge had been set but alas he's dead and I'm here stuck with my own devices.
              From past experiences I've always dreaded dating, approaching or courting girls with a large group of female friends or sisters because  I had come to realise that sometimes the person talking to you might be Jessica but the words coming out from her mouth belonged to either Amaka, Joy or Cynthia and in some unfortunate cases a combination of all three given my current situation I should have listened to my own advice . With the sound of my name , my attention was brought back to reality, to the table, where I ought to have been enjoying the  company of my guy, Steve and with a puzzling look he asked "guy how, far you just dey look your phone face since ,you nor dial her number"?  And as casual as I could sound I answered "she nor pick" Steve thinking for a few seconds asked again this time "you don try ping am?"  shaking my head, I answered "no need" He shrugged and continued his rambling much of which I heard but can't recollect, you see, my facial expression could be likened to a white sheet of paper whether or not I was happy one couldn't tell, hidden behind this mask which was my face, was a favorite quote "your face is yours to rule, rule it with an iron fist" amidst the emotional turmoil thinking about it now, keeping up the facade of no worries, was the more exhausting of the two.
                                            EJALE VI