statements usually end with "... How could you do this to me" recounting all the act of goodness they've ever shown to you, amidst tears and
complains about lack of their reciprocated feelings and act of goodness.
In recent times the word "nice" has become an all encompassing term that has been used to describe both kindness and niceness and often times the user not knowing the difference uses both interchangeably. Looking at them, one after the other "nice" is an act of goodwill shown to someone to win external approval from either the receiver or a third party ,sometimes, even at a large expense of himself, from the relationship standpoint. Most often than not, the guy in question is desperate for external validation, he's a pleaser and always wants to be seen in a positive light, at all times even when it's very inconvenient, but because of his lack of self confidence and the fear of not being accepted the individual says yes when he actually means no, and as such they tend to be exploited, without any level of appreciation and this leaves the "nice" guy frustrated and resentful but because of his continuous quest for external validation he swallows it up puts on his best smile and is ready to please again at his expense .
kindness or the act of being a good guy , goes beyond a single individual but down to everyone he comes in contact with , it's laced with a lot of self confidence and is done out of the abundance of one's heart, without need for external approval, following the principles of altruism, they do good for you because it's the duty of all men to do good to their fellow men, it doesn't mean that they don't go the extra mile to show that they care for that special someone but it's always done at some level of convenience. Kindness comes with its limits and as such he is not afraid to let you know if he feels he is being mistreated or exploited, these individuals have a sense of self worth and as such they respect all individuals same way they'd like to be respected.
The outward showing of both are the same, but it's the motivation and feedback that differ, while the kind individual or good guy is motivated internally the nice individual is motivated externally and when it comes to feedback, the kind individual or good guy often times is not in it for the thank you or what he expects in return, he's just letting you know that he cares , while the nice guy more often than not is in a constant competition with himself to win her favor up to the point he begins to wreak of desperation and he is exhausted.
Finally on the aspect of individuality, in being nice, the "nice guy" looses himself trying to mirror the hobbies, likes and interest of his significant other up till the point were his unique personality is blotted out now as a good guy you do what you love while at the same time respecting her likes and opinions and retaining his unique personality .
I'd just like to say in conclusion that in your quest to win her heart or foster a friendship with someone, try not to be the "nice guy" that finishes last, but be the "good guy" who wins.
Ejale VI